A Rule Book
Get your cabin set up for you on the first evening, and keep surprise charges off your bill.
Everything from my videos is here, written down and checked against each cruise line's own pages: what to say, word for word, in the doorway on the first evening, what to ask your steward for, and what to check on the last morning.
- Say the right words to your steward before dinner
- Ask for a shower stool before the form deadline
- Empty the safe before the luggage goes out
01
How it works
Nothing ships, and there is no account to make.
The honest math
What does one cabin week really cost?
One cabin for two on a one-week sailing. Six published cabin rules are shown, and each charge is counted once.
Without the Rule Book Charges in US dollars
- One vape on the balcony − $500
- Two robes bought to take home − $99.90
- Late room service, seven nights − $55.65
- One pool towel not returned − $25
- Two wristbands bought as keys − $19.98
- Charged room service breakfast order − $7.95
With the Rule Book Same week, in US dollars
- Smoked in a designated outdoor area $0
- Robes requested from your steward $0
- Walked to a casual café instead $0
- Every pool towel handed back $0
- Free SeaPass cards worn on lanyards $0
- Continental breakfast delivered free $0
The Rule Book, pp. 79, 91, 94, 98, 100, 101, 112 · Royal Caribbean and Carnival published pages, as printed in The Cabin Steward's Playbook, chapters 11, 13, 14 and 16.
Difference, with the book: $708.48
Robe and smoking figures are Carnival's; the other rows are Royal Caribbean's. Your line may differ.
03
Look inside
Four real pages from the book: a chapter opening, the words to say, a line-by-line table and a checklist you can print.
← swipe to see more pages →
04
What’s inside
Twenty rules in five parts, six printable companions, one file. Each rule comes from the line's own published page, with the exact words to say at the cabin door.
- Missed the form deadline?, send it anyway, then make this call · p. 6
- CPAP in the checked bag?, carry it aboard in your own hands · p. 14
- Measure the scooter first, cabin doors are narrower than you think · p. 28
- Your steward's name, before dinner, and the one thing you need · p. 36
- A softer bed for the asking, what the store room holds · p. 43
- Getting out of the shower, the moment that matters, not getting in · p. 50
- Hearing aids under the pillow, a lidded case stops almost every loss · p. 83
- A week of socks by the piece, or one fixed-price bag · p. 105
- Tonight's pills in the suitcase, pack the night bag first · p. 119
And that is a fraction of it. 20 rules, 6 companions, 170 pages, every rule with its official source.
05
Get your copy
$27 once. No subscription. Yours forever.
Instant PDF, on your phone about thirty seconds after you pay. Nothing ships. Print at the kitchen table if you want.
The Cabin Steward's Playbook
- 170 pages, 20 chapters, a source under every rule
- The exact words to say at the cabin door, and what to do if the answer is no
- Six printable companions, from the request checklist to the last-morning sweep
- Instant PDF for phone, tablet or computer, nothing shipped
- 30-day money back, and you keep the book
Secure checkout · One payment, no subscription · Nothing ships
Goes with it
The Cabin Request Directory and The Cruise Rule Book by Thomas Ashford, from the same small team
Add both for just $22.99 instead of the usual $46
Don’t want all three? Build your own bundle →
Grace Delgado
I'm Grace Delgado. For almost thirty years I was a cruise cabin steward, and I cleaned the same twenty cabins every day. I have left the ship, so now I can tell you what I could not say in uniform: what you can ask your steward for, where people fall, and what goes wrong on the last morning while you sleep.
The rules in this book are not mine. They come from the cruise lines' own published pages, Royal Caribbean, Celebrity, Princess and Carnival, and from the CDC's advice on preventing falls. I read each page, wrote down what it means inside your cabin, and printed the source under every rule.
You get twenty rules in the order of your week, the words I would say at the cabin door, and six companions to print. I left out choosing a line, ports, outfits, documents and insurance on purpose, because I would rather do the cabin properly than everything halfway.
I am off the ship now. You are not. Go and enjoy it.
Grace
Questions before you buy
Does this cover my cruise line?
The Rule Book quotes the published pages of Royal Caribbean, Celebrity, Princess and Carnival, and where two lines disagree it tells you which figure to trust on which ship. The doorway words work with any steward. The Cabin Request Directory takes each request line by line, Norwegian included.
I've cruised for years. Anything new?
Likely more than you expect. Repeat cruisers are the ones who think the ship remembers last time's shower stool; it does not, and the form has to go in again. You will also see where the lines' deadlines differ, what gratuity the minibar adds, and which towels end up on your account.
I don't use a scooter or a CPAP. Still needed?
Yes. Only the first part is about equipment you declare before sailing. The other sixteen chapters are for every cabin: finding your steward before dinner, what the store room holds, the bathroom floor and the night walk, the keycard and your hearing aids, what lands on the bill, and the last night's luggage, safe and sweep.
I'm from Canada. Does this apply to me?
Yes, for the cabin. Every rule comes from the line's own page about life on board, and none of them depends on where you live. Charges are printed in US dollars because that is how the lines publish them. Passports and border papers are left out on purpose; Thomas Ashford's Cruise Rule Book has a chapter on Canada at a United States pier.
I'm not good with computers.
You only need one tap. After you pay, the book opens on the next screen. On an iPhone, tap Share, then Books, and it waits on your bookshelf. On an Android phone or a computer, it lands in your Downloads folder. If anything goes wrong, write to the support address and a person will walk you through it.
Is a paper book coming in the mail?
No. It is a PDF you open right away, so there is nothing to wait for at the mailbox. If you like paper, print the whole book or just the six companions at home, at your library, or at a FedEx Office or Staples counter. The request checklist and the script card fit in your carry-on.
What if I lose the file?
Save it the moment it opens, ideally on the phone or tablet you are taking aboard, and print the companions if you prefer paper. If the file goes missing anyway, write to the support address at the foot of this page with the email you paid with, and we will help you get it back.
What if it's not for me?
Write to us within 30 days and you get your money back. The book stays yours, and nobody asks why.
08
Still deciding?
Write to me here and I answer. Every message comes straight to me.
